you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
