dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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