I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
