Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
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