just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
