I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
