If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
