did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's never too late to be topless.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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