you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
