Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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