Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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