Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
