Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
