I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
we should paint friendship bongs
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