Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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