is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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