I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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