I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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