You don't have asthma, your pregnant
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
