Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
