I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
