So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
