broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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