Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
