I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
