did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
