I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
