What a fucking waste of an outfit
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
