whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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