His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
