We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
