There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
