So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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