2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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