he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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