i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize