In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
