have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
