Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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