I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
