What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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