I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
