fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
