Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
