then he tried to convert me to islam
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
