There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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