I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
