Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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