I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
