..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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