Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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