Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize