I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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