I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he puts the penis in happiness.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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