Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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