I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
