Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize